Every day, we reduce our Less Judgmental of others in numerous subtle ways. We study the Instagram filters people use, we “like” or repost Facebook posts with a witty rejoinder, and we swipe left and right to find our next date.
And in today’s tense political climate, we make snaps Less Judgmental about people based on the caps they’re wearing or if they’re even covering their faces.
But how many of the Less Judgmental people do we know? And what effect do all those little criticisms have on ourselves and our relationships with one another?
It turns out to be not much good. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to be less judgmental so that you can have a more upbeat perspective and see the best in people.
It’s time to go back and rethink those crucial concepts from Step 3 from a compassionate, new angle. Ask questions instead of passing judgment.
Wow, Sarah is so careless with her work, I had a serious thought.
Sarah has suddenly been so disorganized, which makes me question why. She might be having problems at home.
Self-judgment can benefit greatly from this stage (when you are the one being judged). Practice replacing your critical self-talk with sympathetic language.
2. Show patience.
After trying to understand the other person, accept them for who they are. It’s quite challenging to change someone else. In actuality, success is very unlikely. Only they can change themselves, just as only you can change yourself.
Try not to judge them or let negative thoughts stay in your mind. You don’t even have to like them or be their best buddy.
This could be an especially helpful reminder for lowering one’s expectations of behavior and increasing empathy. It will help not just the relationships you have with others, but also you.
3. increase the number of your buddies.
This long-term goal will require consistent labor, but it will challenge your capacity.
Engage folks who are different from you whenever possible. This is true of your social networks, but you may also retain variety by exploring new hobbies, signing up for courses, traveling to exotic locales, or learning a foreign language.
You will become more empathetic as a result of having a better understanding of people with different histories, cultures, and beliefs because you will be more aware of the unique challenges they face.
4. Remind yourself to treat yourself nicely.
Since nobody is flawless, you’ll make a lot of blunders while trying to be less critical. Keep on while being kind to yourself.
Keep in mind that you are also attempting to develop greater empathy for others. If you find yourself criticizing others, it can be a sign of your suffering or concerns; in that case, it’s probably time for a brief self-care check-up.
5. Develop empathy.
In most circumstances, you won’t be able to know or grasp exactly what’s driving someone to behave in a strange or bothersome way. We can’t actually “walk in their shoes,” as we were taught to do in elementary school.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t strive to be sympathetic and understanding even if you don’t fully comprehend that person’s circumstance. This entails recalling a period when you engaged in behavior that other people may have regarded peculiar or bothersome and reflecting on the reasons behind your decisions.
Maybe you were having a horrible day or your relationship was going through a difficult time. Everyone has had those times.
You can give the other person the “benefit of the doubt” by picturing their actions in the context of a circumstance that you have personally encountered.
6. Make a note of what makes you think critically.
Positive or negative judgments are both made with the assumption that the facts are all known and the motivations for the other person’s actions are understood.
When we make assumptions about others, we frequently conclude that they will remain that way forever. Even if you may believe that someone is in error, you are the one who is causing trouble. Your insecurities may sometimes be the source of your judgments.
The next time you notice yourself passing judgment on someone else, use it as an opportunity to reflect. Why do you believe the other person’s behavior offended you? What steps can you take to address your insecurities?
It is beneficial to keep track of your thoughts in a journal for the best outcomes. You’ll probably begin to see trends or times and circumstances where you tend to be more judgmental.
For instance, you might be more judgmental around particular people, in particular settings, or when you are experiencing particular emotions. The first step in reducing judgment is learning to identify these triggers.